Bust a move

I love video games. Like alot of geeks, I thought I wanted to date someone who was also into video games. To this end, I tried for a couple years to get my first girlfriend into different games. Mario Kart didn't work, and neither did The Sims. Finally, I got her hooked on Puzzle Bobble - big mistake. I was obviously alot better than her at it. Well one day, when I was busy doing other things, she spent the entire day practicing and trying to get better than me. After that, I still kicked her ass at the game and she started crying. True, she's alot more competitive than other girls. But anyways, that was when I learned that video games are something that I will never be able to share with a woman. As long as I'm playing video games, that will have to be my time to myself.

I Spy

A friend of mine once told me that I have a really intense stare. Right sweetheart, I'm sure it's not because you're totally hot or anything that I look at you so hard.

Apparently she was right, though. I went to a strip club and while this girl was giving me a lap dance, she asked me why I kept looking her in the eye. I could tell that she was really uncomfortable, so I had to avert my gaze towards her ass or something else equally unsatisfying. I don't actually think this story was that interesting, but my friends all laughed their collective ass off today so I just thought I'd share.

Always bet on Blak

I can't decide whether this stuff is carbonated coffee, or coke that just smells like coffee. Regardless, its hard to find. It all started with New Coke, which was really terrible and everyone hated it. Coca-Cola switched back to its old formula, but ever since has been afraid to introduce new flavors; that's why it took Coke Light so long to come here (yes it's here, we just call it Diet Coke with Splenda).

So Coke Blak was released in limited distribution. What this means for us is that we can see billboards for it around town, but not see the actual product on shelves. Well, screw that. I was at the Super Target on Main Street last weekend with a couple friends, and we bought out the store's whole supply of this stuff. That's right, over $120 worth of soda. I went into a near-panic when I discovered there was a loose bottle in a freezer at the front, but I settled down once I convinced myself that it was the only one. The sad thing is, I don't even like this stuff all that much. I mean, I don't like soda and I don't drink coffee. What am I doing with their bastard child? Hoarding it, that's what.