List - best fries

Let's try this:

1. Checkers
2. Chick-fil-a (waffle fries) - they taste like popcorn
3. Steak Escape (steak fries)
4. Omaha Steak House
5. Capitol Grille (truffle fries)
6. Red Robin (especially the parmesan fries)
7. McDonald's (I just like salt + grease)
8. Burger King

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Also, the most bland fries can be found at Wendy's. Did I miss anything?

Crash!

So I'm waiting in the drive-thru lane at Chick-Fil-A, and I have my windows rolled down. At the time, it seemed like a good idea - it was 80 F outside. Of course, a giant mosquito flew in and landed on the inside of my door. And of course, I'm terrified of insects (except for maybe ants). I freak out and squash it with the heel of my hand, but somehow my foot slips off the brake (and my car's not in park). As the vehicle starts rolling forward, I slam down on the wrong pedal - why do they put these two things next to each other? The truck I hit was fine, but I pushed him into a Spectra which was damaged. The drivers were fine, but both my air bags popped. My insurance covered everything, but I had changed carriers less than a week prior so they probably think I'm some sort of some scammer. Anyways, I'm driving a rental until my Maxima's back from the shop. I thought about getting insurance on the rental, but if I get in any accidents in the next few weeks then I'm just going to give up on life entirely.

Slumdog Millionaire

One time on the way to Dallas, my brother-in-law bet me that I wouldn't buy a lottery ticket. Normally I wouldn't, but I blew a whole dollar to prove him wrong. I actually matched four numbers, which means that my ticket was worth $60. But, I was too ashamed to claim my winnings. Which was more of a shame because I was unemployed at the time, and could've probably used the money.

The dumbest cab driver ever

So I give the address and ask him if he can take there. Obviously he lies and says that he can, but it's clear that he has no idea where it is (despite the fact that it's not very far from the airport). So then he tells me to put the address in his Garmin. I do and hand it back to him, and then he starts yelling at me, "Why did you turn it off?" I tell him that I didn't, but when he merely repeats himself I point out to him that he probably needs to plug the device in. After that he tries to drop me off on a deserted street, so I tell him to keep driving until we actually get to the building. Oh, and after that he didn't have change nor did he unload my suitcase for me. Prick.

That only works on tv

So this past May, I was unfortunately working out in Omaha. My co-worker was staying at the Courtyard by Marriott Hotel, but after a week or so I decide to stay across the street. Anyways we get in the shuttle Thursday night, and the driver is all like "Did you hear what happened last night?" And we're like no, so he tells us about how a cop came to that hotel to arrest some identity theft suspects and got hit over the head with a vase and ended up shooting the perps. Pretty crazy. I asked my co-worker if he heard the gunshots, but apparently he didn't.

I was Odd Todd

On June 26th, Autonomy let me go; the reason given was low performance. I didn't defend myself at all, since my teammates regularly worked all night; I'm more of a 9-to-5 type of guy. I guess that doesn't really fly in consulting. Which is a shame to me, since I enjoy the travelling so much. Maybe I could find some other similar job, but it's easier to just stick to consulting.

I had already started looking for a new job, and moved in with my parents; but most importantly, I was able to collect unemployment - my next step was clearly to pick up some Mountain Dew and ramp up my gaming. But seriously, I wasn't depressed about being fired. What did depress me was having to go back and ask for my old job back at UCS. Man, that place sucked. Luckily, they turned me down (I think I failed the drug test).

Anyways, in three months time I managed to get turned down by seven different companies.

I guess I'm some kind of ho

A couple years ago, my throat started really bothering me. I went to a doctor to see if I had strep, but she said it was probably mono; which was kind of weird, since she didn't bother testing me for anything. Not only that, but it had (sadly) been a few months since I had kissed anyone. I guess it's true that you shouldn't share drinks with people.
Anyways, having mono is pretty depressing at first. You're tired all of the time, so you can't do any kind of exercise. On top of that, you need to sleep an extra hour or two a day. Combined with work, you don't get any free time. After a month or two, though, it goes in to some kind of remission where you don't ever really see the effects ever again. I guess it's almost like I don't have it anymore.